I was walking around the house with it, when I passed a mirror and saw how I looked, and I couldn’t help but wonder if I actually looked cooler?  Could I have found the miracle product that makes someone look 37% cooler then they really are? Isn’t that what John Mayer did?  Then again, some people really just do not look cool with guitars, take this guy for an example:

^I think he needs a haircut first, but sweet strings.  I guess from now on, I’ll be walking around, where ever I go, with a guitar in hand…now I just gotta learn to play it.

Maybe a guitar could help President Bush’s approval rating, or tranquilize the image everyone has of Hillary Clinton.  Instead of a machine gun, Osama Bin Laden should come out with an acoustic sing-a-long on his next tape to Al Jazeera.

Kudos to the guitar ethusiats of the world.  Rock on

I know there are tons of people out there in our universe who feel that the salaries of pro athletes should be cut but I actually have legitimate reasons.  Please don’t mistake me for those thousands of groups who rally for the cut; feminists, the unemployed, women, the government, feminists, low paying jobs that are insignificant to existence, feminists and also some groups of women activists, also known as feminists.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy wasting 3 hours watching a 9 inning game of baseball where 16 out of the 18 guys who are playing, just stand there most of the time where there combined salary is more then all the people who will read this article combined.  Nothing makes me happier then seeing interviews of players who refer to themselves in the third person while mixing in grammatical faux pas such as prepositions ending sentences or the improper use of adverbial clauses when describing their stunning performance which led them to victory (not the team effort of 30 other men).  I couldn’t think of a better way then spending my Sunday mornings watching ESPN report about another disgruntled athlete who wont report to training because he isn’t making over 10 million like his other buddies.  But think about it, if we cut their salaries, what message does that send to our up and coming kids of today…what change do you think that will make?

I’ve thought about this for a while and, well, quite frankly, I can’t see a better idea.  Take a look:

1.  No more bull sh*t problems:  How many times have you heard about athletes who won’t play do to contract problems or that they are upset because they aren’t making as much money as the next guy…does that WORK in real life?  What would happen to you if you went up to your boss and said “Rick, I’m not coming into work tomorrow because you aren’t paying me enough…and also I know you’re paying Steve more than me and I pretty much do the same work as him, so why don’t you call me when you’re ready to negotiate.”  Somehow I feel like you would be looking in next weeks classifieds before you ever heard back from him…but yet we let this slide in the pro’s today.  We baby our athletes and offer then an extra million or two.  The problem is that they can afford not to play for a year, we can’t.  Less then 1.8 % of real working Americans can take that much time off to find a new job, other people put up with most crap because they need the $$$.  Take that away from the athletes and they know they will have nothing else left but to just make the money they make and play the game.

2.  Increase in Intelligence:  Most children/teens today do not see the glory of being the hero in the game, they see the cash behind it.  We’ve gone from wanting to become role models to just wanting endorsement deals.  If athletes didn’t make as much as say lawyers, or researchers or doctors, we would have a lot more student athletes who were more focused on the student part rather then the latter.

It’s pretty obvious that the effects we would have as a whole in decreasing of salaries in professional sports would be very beneficial.  Who could disagree with it?

Unfortunately, we did not learn our mistake in his first four years, so we can only blame ourselves that we were dumb enough to put this monkey back in office.  Although the choice on the other side had leadership skills of a hamster, we could’ve just plain said no to either, yet we didn’t and let Georgie remain in the White House to continue his superb job of governing this country.

With the presidential election’s still far away, it’s tough to sit and watch gas rise to $5 dollars a gallon, food costs at an all time high, and the economy head in the wrong direction.  Our only plan is to speed up the processes to get someone else in office, and for that, I propose 3 solutions on how to get rid of good ol’ George.  You decide which one you like best:

1.  Send him on another hunting trip with Dick Chaney:

–Maybe history can repeat itself…just give them bigger guns and tell the boys that the first person to shoot something wins.  Little excitement should make them giddy enough to almost wet themselves anyway.

2.  Impeach him based on stupidity or low approval ratings:

–Last time I checked, the man has a 28% approval rating.  Congress is always passing up made crap, why can’t they make one that will actually make a difference.

3.  Hire a hooker to “service” him:

–Maybe Monica Lewinsky isn’t busy and she can make up for her past actions by doing a president who we want to get rid of…

Those are my 2 cents on it.  It’s up to you guys which one you feel is the “most qualified candidate” for the job.

Enjoy.